the hardest days of my life.

As you know from my previous posts, from however we keep up....
In the last weeks, my dad's health took a terrible turn and things have been hard.
Obviously blogging has not been on my mind right now, but today, I just needed to escape for a minute...
to write, to share, to "get it out"... even if it's just a little bit at a time.

Some of you already know, but unfortunately my dad's condition did not improve.
After much medical intervention, talks with doctors, time and prayer, his body is letting us know that he is ready to go Home to his Maker.

We brought him back home to my parent's house a week ago with full time Hospice care, where he has been resting comfortably for the most part...much more peaceful at home than in the hospital.
(someday I plan to write a post about Hospice nurses...they are truly angels on Earth. We have been so blown away at their kindness and the way they treat my dad: not as a sick person, but as a man.)

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Lots of y'all have asked how our family is doing...

These have been the longest, hardest days of my life so far, if I am being really honest.

I don't have to go into much detail to express to you how awful it is to see your own daddy like this.
It has made me feel like a little girl again, just wanting to be right by his side.
I have even napped next to his hospital bed because it is just hard for me to leave.

My mom is so strong (if you know her, you know that), but I see that when he is gone and the house is empty...it is going to be so hard. I am already praying for her heart in that time, and would appreciate y'alls prayers for her too.

Their sweet dog, who loves my dad so much, has made her bed underneath his hospital bed, and she won't leave. Dogs definitely sense when their owner is down. It is so sweet to watch.

My girls have been "displaced" now for over 2 weeks but are doing amazing. I mean really, I am blown away at how well they have handled things. Grace from God, truly.

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how my dad is doing: 

My dad had a rough night last night, and changed markedly just overnight.
The nurses feel that he most likely has a day or two left with us here.
oh my goodness it hurts my stomach just to write that out. I cannot believe this is happening right now.

As much as I am not ready to let go, I am so ready for him to be out of this and to be in FULL freedom and peace. I cannot even imagine. I am excited for him.

as weird as it sounds, it also excites me to know that very soon, my parents bedroom is going to be FILLED with the powerful presence of God. WHEW. I cannot even imagine what that will be like.

I got a glimpse yesterday as I was sitting next to my dad resting.
I suddenly got chills all over and started shaking a little bit. not out of fear, but because there was a true presence with me, and with my Dad in that room.
I know it was the Holy Spirit. I know He is here with my Dad.

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The overwhelming outpouring of love shown to my dad and my family has blown. me. away.
It has been amazing to hear stories of my dad's life that I never heard, and to meet people he has spoken of from his past that I never really knew.

And every single person that has come, whether they know Jesus themselves or not, has made mention of how much they respected my dad because of his faith in Christ, and how he is such an honorable man. Everyone around him knew what a big deal his Lord was to him.
And not because he was an overly "religious" guy...but because he loved others with the love of Christ.

What a legacy.

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Ok im about to fall apart, so I will stop here.
Please know how loved and cared for we feel, whether you have visited, sent flowers, brought meals, or prayed...we are so appreciative.

You can just continue to pray for peace and comfort for my family, and especially for my dad.
I know that when the hour comes, he will be filled with a joy and peace we cannot understand.

Thank you, Jesus.